‘I don’t hate the game of tennis’; I can hear players say. Well, what would you call everyone’s undeniable aversion to tournaments then at the grassroot level then? Even sometimes at the top level? How do you make sense of all the injuries, the forfeiting, the tanking, the sports psychology, the tournament shopping, the anxiety, the dread, the tantrums, the miserable car rides, the disappointment, the desolation? It hardly could be considered a joyful matter. I’m a reasonable man, I can soften the word ‘hate’ to dislike if that will land nicer. Actually, I won’t. I will use the word hate, as it’s not my job to soften my language to make it more palatable for players, players families, coaches or officials. So, apologies if anyone feels I am violating their newsfeed and feel free to delete me off whatever platform you find this on!
(Clear throat noise) For those of you who are still reading, I will say this; Perhaps players hate the game because their fundamental understanding of tennis is categorically false. Maybe they don’t even know what game they’re actually playing in?
This is a fundamental issue that almost no one recognises or reconciles. Righto, without further ado here it is – ‘TENNIS’ AND ‘TOURNAMENTS’ ARE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SPORTS. Just like squash is a different sport to tennis, tournaments are too. Just like Pickleball is a different sport to tennis, tournaments are too. Just like Padel is a different sport to tennis, tournaments are too. Just like mud wrestling is a different sport to tennis, tournaments are too. I will say it again so there is no confusion. TENNIS IS A DIFFERENT SPORT TO TOURNAMENTS!
I was going to say to the untrained eye that tennis and tournaments look the same, but even to the trained eye, tennis and tournaments look identical. And this is why it is so deceiving. Yes, rackets are still being swung, feet are still moving, and grunts are still being bellowed, however, the inner place in which the game is being performed comes from an entirely different realm to which it was played during yesterday afternoons practice session.. When you were striking the ball without a care in the world.
The sport of tournaments is essentially playing the game of winning and losing. It’s a game of competition, which is entirely different to the game of tennis. And since most humans harbour within them a sense of emptiness, (your mind will likely reject this), they look to all sorts of things to try and fill this void. In this instance, the scoreboard becomes the place where a person unconsciously looks for a sense of self-worth, which turns tournaments into a heart-in-mouth type of experience.
Now, if tournaments rewarded an individual with any type of regularity, I could see this as being a reasonable proposition. But they don’t. By design, everyone but one person in the draw, loses. It dishes out worser odds than a pokie machine. And this is why tournaments are a dreadful experience for EVERYONE involved. Including the winner, as they went through the same emotional upheaval as all the other competitors, if not more. Sure, they got rewarded with the prize, but in the scheme of things, the joy doesn’t even compare with the totality of suffering they experienced along the way. The win quickly loses its lustre, and this is why many athletes suffer serious depression right after a big victory. The hollowness tends to hit hard!
This is where the mental toughness mad hatters come in and say blah blah blah and suggest, blah, blah, blah. Suffering isn’t a badge of honour, in fact, I would say it’s a sign of sheer stupidity. I’m saying this because I was once brainwashed by the self-improvement dream peddlers and tried to make my pain look professional. I now see the errors of my ways and recognize that seeing is more important than suffering, and I am looking to not perpetuate this problem with the next generation. And I am finding by celebrating a player’s victory with whom I work with, I am unequivocally adding to this issue. It’s aged on me that winning and losing are one and the same thing, which are just as detrimental as each other.
In my own life, I’ve always wondered why my stomach repulsively churns and I get sort of offended when someone congratulates me about something good that I’ve done. Am I just an aloof weirdo who despises society, or is my body trying to tell me something that I haven’t yet understood? The message from my solar plexus screams how incredibly dangerous it is to develop a palate for peoples’ good graces. Because society is like tennis. People will praise you on one hand, and then scrutinise you the next. What it gives, it will take. It can be no other way. Such things don’t really deserve anyone’s respect, or to be treated with any type of seriousness at all. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t do it, or try to excel, but you have to see it for what it is! It’s conditional, it’s frivolous, it’s a joke. It’s a GAME!
Tennis is not a God to bow at the altar too, and if you do, you hand your sovereignty and emotional equilibrium over to it. Sport becomes your new religion. It has TOTAL ownership over you. It’s your ruler, it’s your emperor, it’s your king. You’re a slave to it. And that’s what I see at tournaments. Soulless beggars performing for a droplet of praise or prestige from fellow worshipers of this false, sporting idol.
Understanding where true value lies is a crucial element in this process, so the question I have been asking my players lately is ‘What do you like about yourself?’ I figure if they can arrive at the match court with clarity over their own self-worth, they won’t be beholden to competition to fix this internal state of incompleteness. Then and only then, do I feel athletes get the freedom to truly play the sport of Tennis. Which is the game they ultimately signed up for!
SMASHED – Tennis prodigies, parents and parasites
